Breakups are never easy. In most cases, they leave broken hearts, pain, and many unanswered questions. Often, people find themselves on an emotional rollercoaster, wondering why they are stalking an ex-partner. Three key words summarize these thoughts: loss, longing, and confusion.
When a relationship ends, it often brings a deep sense of loss. One has invested time and energy into this relationship, and suddenly everything seems to have been in vain. The memories of beautiful moments can be overwhelming, intensifying the grief of having lost that connection. In this phase, our emotional mental program tempts us to continue observing our ex to regain a semblance of control. This can often occur in the form of online stalking, whether by monitoring social media or researching the current state of the ex-partner's life. But where does this desire come from?
The role of longing
Longing is a powerful feeling, and it often follows us after a breakup. The idea that the other person may already be happy again or entering new relationships can be painful. Many people worry whether they truly are no longer valued in the heart of their ex-partner. Stalking then becomes a way to answer these questions, even if it happens in an unhealthy manner. We often believe that by constantly checking posts or pictures, we gain insight into the other person's life. However, this information is often distorted or incomplete, only amplifying our insecurity and lack of self-esteem. It is important to recognize that this longing usually does not reflect actual reality.
Confusion after the breakup
After a breakup, it's completely normal to feel lost or confused. The emotional rollercoaster can lead to a state of internal turmoil, where one's feelings often cannot be categorized. There are days when one thinks that the breakup was the best decision, and on others one finds themselves trapped in deep sadness again. These confused emotions can lead us to delve into the life circumstances of the ex-partner to understand what went wrong and where we may have made a mistake. Sometimes we see stalking as a way to cope with our own feelings, even if it does not do us any good.
Ways to overcome these thoughts
There are healthy ways to deal with the feelings and grief after a relationship. The first step is to give oneself permission to feel the emotions, but also to actively seek ways to move forward. This can be achieved through activities that bring joy, such as sports, hobbies, or spending time with friends. One should focus less on social media and instead reach out directly to valuable people who do good. Another option may be to try journaling to clarify thoughts and feelings so they can be processed more easily.
In summary, the phase after a breakup is a time of transition, where many emotions arise. Stalking the ex-partner can be a form of coping with loss, longing, and confusion, but it is important to recognize that these behaviors typically do more harm than good. By focusing on healthy coping mechanisms and acknowledging the emotionality, we can begin the journey towards healing and personal growth. Remember: Every day is a new opportunity to find yourself and enjoy life to the fullest.
